Attention, prospective sedan buyers, both of you: You now have a new and excellent choice in Volkswagen鈥檚 2019 Jetta GLI. Introduced at the Chicago Auto Show in February, the sixth-gen GLI is back to being a GTI with a trunk, the way the GLI was conceived 35 years ago. The two cars share the mighty 2.0-liter, 228-hp, 258-lb-ft turbo four, standard six-speed manual and optional seven-speed dual-clutch automatic (with start/stop). Among the engine鈥檚 tricks is variable valve timing on both the intake and exhaust sides, as well as variable exhaust valve lift, making for more efficient and precise combustion. Like the base Jetta and GTI, the GLI now rides on VW鈥檚 excellent MQB platform, sitting about a half-inch lower, with MacPherson struts in front and a new multilink arrangement out back. The stout brakes are shared with the GTI and Golf R, and the GTI鈥檚 front limited slip differential and variable-ratio electric steering are standard. The 35th anniversary model comes standard with VW鈥檚 adaptive damper setup with normal, sport, eco and custom modes. Predictably, normal is a balanced setting, sport offers quicker throttle and shift response, eco improves fuel economy and custom allows the driver to tailor the steering, throttle, front differential and engine note.
That was kinda cool. The 1996 VW Golf Harlequin leaves you speechless. Go ahead and call me a kill-joy. Tell me to lighten up. I don鈥檛 care. Making the 1996 Volkswagen Golf Harlequin was a bad idea. Case in point: Less than 300 Harlequin Edition Golfs were shipped to North America, which was about 299 more than necessary. Arguably, one could say that among the biggest VW fans, across the entirety of the U.S., Mexico, and Canada, maybe half that many people were willing to drive one off a dealer鈥檚 lot and park it in their driveway. But heck, it鈥檚 the idea that counts, right? And it鈥檚 not as if it didn鈥檛 take effort. The Harlequin was mostly assembled manually. It was a Golf GL put together from the body panels of four other Golfs painted Tornado Red, Ginster Yellow, Chagall Blue, and Pistachio Green. You could tell the original color of a Harlequin by looking at the roof.
I can only imagine how much fun it would be to explain the rationale behind purchasing a Harlequin. The best worst car ever: the Volkswagen Phaeton. Dear Lord. Why build such a fabulous luxury automobile, then slap a VW badge on the nose? Doing so doomed the Phaeton to a short life of obscurity. Simply put, no one with the money to buy a Phaeton would buy a VW-branded car, and neither would they purchase a vehicle whose name was virtually impossible to pronounce. At least now the world knows that Volkswagen can indeed build a sumptuous luxury vehicle. With massive amounts of room, full-time all-wheel drive, and interior features such as humidity sensors and perfect wood grain throughout, no expense was spared in creating the Phaeton. Most impressive of all was the W12 engine. A 6.0-liter beast that made 420 hp and 406 lb.-ft. 5,300 pounds of the Phaeton as if it were nothing at all, reaching 60 mph in six itty-bitty seconds. Holy cow. Great car. It was gone after one generation, but I bet those who bought one weren鈥檛 disappointed - even if they had to remove the badge and call it a something-or-other.
Think Pink: The 2007 New Beetle Barbie Edition. Pink paint. White leather. Pink quilted leather door pockets. A motorized vanity in the trunk with many rhinestone accents and vanity mirrors throughout this magic poof of unicorn dust. Welcome to the New Beetle Barbie Edition. Designed to celebrate Barbie鈥檚 Big 5-0 (not sure exactly why), the Barbie-mobile showed up at the Malibu Dream House ready to party! But then a bunch of naughty Kens ruined everything by throwing eggs and damaging that lovely pink paint job! It took five different shades, mixed together, just to get that perfectly princess pink paint just right. Granted, it was 11 years ago. Since then, Barbie got real, and reflects the way human beings really look. It went away. Coincidence? The 2008 Volkswagen Routan was either too expensive or not good enough. There鈥檚 nothing good or funny to write about this vehicle. Looking at it will give you a headache.
I mean, unless you鈥檙e interested in pondering whether or not rebadging a car from another (competing) automaker works? If so, let鈥檚 ruminate. No. Sorry, I meant NO. Especially when the vehicle is as forgettable and miserable as the VW Routan. It was too expensive to compete with the Dodge Grand Caravan on which it was based. And it lacked the features to compete with the plush Chrysler Town & Country that was more a sibling than a cousin. That left Volkswagen to shove Routans into rental fleets, along with selling a handful to the odd village fool and die-hard VW fan. How did this happen? The Routan was a shortcut. After wowing auto show crowds with the retro-styled 2001 Microbus Concept, and after enjoying significant success with the New Beetle, a Volkswagen executive elected to slap VW badges on a crappy Dodge, retune the suspension, and call it good. No surprise, by 2012 Volkswagen stopped making it altogether and just sold off the massive quantity of Routans stacked up at airport parking lots.
