2019 Volkswagen Golf GTI
ONE OF the problems with running a car company is that no department actually finishes what it鈥檚 working on. Which makes launching a new car extremely difficult. Think about it. You鈥檙e the boss and you call the styling department. And so it goes on until eventually you, as the boss, have to turn on the factory PA system and say: 鈥淎ll of you. Step away from the Cad-Cam equipment. The problem for Volkswagen is doubly difficult because of Dieselgate. Which brings us on to the new Golf GTI. I am one of these existing owners. The Golf GTI is what I use as my daily driver. It is an extremely good car, apart from the fact it鈥檚 permanently convinced it has a puncture when it hasn鈥檛. I鈥檝e taken it to a dealership, which reset the computer. And ensured all the tyres contained exactly the same amount of air. Today I have solved the problem by sticking duct tape to the dash so I can no longer see the message.
Oh, and a flannel between the passenger seat and centre console to solve the rattle it somehow doesn鈥檛 seem to know it鈥檚 got. I used to be very much in the manuals-are-for-men camp. Apart from these things, it鈥檚 a wonderful car. It鈥檚 equipped like a Bentley, it goes like a Ferrari and in traffic, because it鈥檚 just a Golf and it鈥檚 grey, no one takes my picture. Which is what happens, constantly, when I鈥檓 in anything more flash. Anyway, my car has done only 15,000 miles so it鈥檇 take quite a lot to convince me I should take the resale hit and buy the new model. But I鈥檓 open to suggestion so VW dropped one off at the office. I looked at it for a very long time. Then I looked at my car. And then I looked at the new one again and after a lot of doing this I realised that while my car was a sort of gunmetal grey the new one was definitely white. I also noticed after a lot more looking that the new model had slightly different trim in the headlights and some styling tweaks to the wheels.
I then stepped inside and straight away saw that the rather attractive speedometer and rev counter in the old model had been replaced by some less attractive instruments in the new one. Also, instead of a button to start the car, I had to put the key in a slot and twist it. I haven鈥檛 had to do that since someone worked out that in an accident an ignition key protruding from the steering column can play havoc with a driver鈥檚 kneecaps. And then I noticed the gearlever. And the clutch pedal. And I thought: 鈥淣o. I鈥檓 sorry. It鈥檚 pouring with rain. It鈥檚 strange. Not that long ago, I was very much in the manuals-are-for-men camp. I saw the automatic and the double-clutch alternatives as a sign of weakness. In my mind they were a way of saying that you were a functionary, that you were willing to relinquish control to an algorithm.
鈥淎lexander the Great would never have ordered a car with an automatic gearbox,鈥滻 would thunder at people who had. Now, though, I reckon buying a manual is like buying a television that has no remote control. Who says: 鈥淚 like getting out of my chair to change the channel鈥? Maybe it鈥檚 because I鈥檓 getting old. But more likely it鈥檚 because the modern flappy paddle can change cogs far more quickly than any human being. And your left leg is free to tap along to the radio. Much later in the week, of course, I had to park my prejudice and my bone idleness and take the new car for a drive. I鈥檇 been told its 2-litre turbocharged engine had 10bhp more than the old model and that this equated to a top speed that鈥檚 2mph higher. Which sounded great. But actually all VW has done is fitted the old performance pack as standard. Which means that the updated car has exactly the same amount of power and performance as mine. Everything else. The steering. The suspension. And even the option of a clever limited-slip front differential is the same as well. And that鈥檚 a good thing, if I鈥檓 honest. Because the old Golf GTI was the world鈥檚 best hot hatch. And the new one is as well. Partly because it isn鈥檛 new at all. But mainly it doesn鈥檛 think it has a puncture.
